What is beauty? Who decides? You or the society?
The minute a child is born
and to it’s luck, if it’s a girl, she will be burdened by the pressure of society. It all starts very early!!! From the thickness of her hair to the amount of hair on her body, her facial features! God forbid if she has small eyes and a big nose, she is doused in SURMA and her nose is pinched because it helps her relatives sleep better at night! And This goes on for the rest of her life. As she grows, but not in height, that’s a whole new concern. It is ingrained in her to look, walk, sit and speak a certain way in order to be ACCEPTED. She’s trained to find flaws in herself and in others and not perfections! And somewhere along this process, she too becomes a part of the brutal society. It is unfortunate how people are brainwashed by the beauty standards that are set for them. Many are victims to these standards and comparisons. Most precious years of their lives are spent looking for solutions for problems that aren’t really problems. Most beautiful girls without realizing, seek solace in fairness creams, height growth pills, blinded by side effects in hopes that it will all work. Will it though? In the midst of fixing the exterior, we forget that it’s the interior that needs repairing.
Somewhere along the way we give birth to many insecurities and end up with a crushed self esteem. We struggle. We compare. No matter how old we are, we’ll always come across people that will bring us down, make us feel that we’re not good enough, we’re not beautiful enough, intelligent or strong enough. Their comments will leave a scar. Will leave us questioning, “Have I really gained weight? I must look ugly.”, “I’ve lost weight, it’s meant to be a good thing. Then why did they tell me that it makes me look old?”, “Why am I always treated like a child and called choti? I’m their age! Is it because I’m short?”. Other than our social circles, there’s social media, to which there are numerous advantages. It’s educational, great for marketing your business, for spreading awareness and for many other reasons. But it puts us under so much pressure to do better, to be better than others. Jealousy, constant comparison in success and happiness, feeling left out and desiring for more. Seeking love and approval from strangers, when we should be finding ways to love and accept OURSELVES.
Take a minute and think. Life is not forever. You only get ONE chance at it. What are you doing? Do you want to spend or rather WASTE your most precious life worrying about what others think of how you should look or who you should be? Comparing yourself to someone who may be battling their own share of insecurities and fears. To live to please people, with constant fear of failure and rejection, insecurities and desolation? Or then live to love and nurture ourselves and do what brings us joy and nothing less.
Let’s go back a few sentences. To “Love” and “Accept” ourselves. Because nobody, and we mean it, NOBODY can do that job better. It comes from within so we must take our time with it and really understand what beauty is and let it shine through. It’s what others can see if you’ll allow them to. Instead of drowning and pulling others in that vicious circle, be the one to break it. Vacuum negativity out of our life. Make that change for yourself, your daughter, your sister, your friend or even your Family, because they suffer along as well. You don’t want your loved ones to feel or experience such emotions. Do what brings you true joy. Focus on embracing and flaunting your qualities and strengths and nothing less, and let that be a positive lesson for everyone around you, that flaws and imperfections are only perceptions. The don’t exist. Free yourself from the “comparison trap”. We’re all born with our share of strengths, qualities, capabilities and even weaknesses. Spend you time nurturing your strengths and qualities and be accepting of your weaknesses. Understand that there’s always someone better than you at something or the other, and also remember that YOUR strengths are another’s weaknesses. So, allow yourself the freedom to be who you are and do what makes you happy, and don’t let anyone come in the way of that, because guess what? There is always someone looking up to you, wanting to be like you, admiring and appreciating you for YOU. Your happiness will give you the power to transform your life and change minds.
May your cup always be half full.
